“The Openness of our Hearts and Minds can be measured by how wide we draw the Circle of what we call Family”

I love this quote by Saint (Mother) Teresa.  Who do we call Family?  Mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, of course.  Even close friends and neighbors, co-workers, members of your community.  One of the greatest compliments one can say to a person is, “You are like Family to me.” Family is someone you can rely on, who is with you in good times and in bad, who is always there for you.  Someone to comfort you, to love you even when you’re maybe not so lovable.  It’s true, family can be difficult at times; family can drive you crazy even.  But what a blessing it is to have family surround you, and to be family to those you love.

Elsa has been making huge advancements with her speech lately.  She’s become a regular chatterbox, and we love it!  She has especially been keen to practice the names of family members, mom and dad, all her brothers and sisters, aunties and cousins, neighbors and friends down the street.  She loves to point someone out and say their name.  She’ll often go around the room and say each family member’s name… “Ah-wa,” “Maaax,” “Weesel,”  “Dorge,” “Geh-Gah,” “Kuwt,” “Mumma,” “Dada”… and she always finishes by pointing to herself and saying “El-sa” very proudly.  It’s as if she is comprehending that she is part of this group and relishing the fact that she belongs with us.  My family.  My tribe.  I belong.  I am loved and valued.  Another of her favorite words is Home.  She says it when we drive up to our house, with such a voice of contentment.  This is my safe space, where I am surrounded by people who love and care for me.

What a simple and ordinary concept, for a child to understand and be content with the idea of being a part of family.  It should be a given for every child. And yet, so many children do not have this in their lives.  Our little boy in China is being fed, changed, and having his very basic needs met daily.  But right now, he does not know Family.  He doesn’t have a mother to hold him and rub his back and sing to him when he’s sick or hurt.  He doesn’t have a father to tickle him and throw him up in the air and catch him and read him a bedtime story.  He doesn’t have siblings to chase him around the house and teach him songs and feed him treats when mom’s not looking.  We are so anxious to bring him home and welcome him to our family.  He deserves to belong and to be loved.

We are moving along with our adoption process–our dossier is about to be sent to China, and hopefully once we are logged in, we will have a better idea of our travel timeframe.  We recently learned of a very special connection between Elsa and our new little boy.  Elsa was fortunate enough to be cared for in a foster home in Zhanjiang for a time.  An American family, the Bennetts, ran Ava’s House and Grace Village and cared for special needs orphans, mostly those with Down syndrome.  This was an amazing place, where they provided one-on-one care for the babies, offered therapies, celebrated birthdays, and just basically treated them like family–truly, it was like a home setting in how much they loved and nurtured this children.  Elsa was with them for about a month before we brought her home to the United States. Unfortunately, in March 2017, all non-government facilities were shut down by the Chinese authorities, and these children were returned to the state-run orphanages.  However, we found out that our new son was in the care of the Bennett family for about 5 months, before he was sent back to the orphanage in Zhanjiang when the new laws were enacted.  Vickie Bennett joyfully shared stories of our little boy from the time that she had him in Ava’s House–about how he had the cutest, fattest cheeks, and about what a sweet disposition he had, and how he loved to be held and sung to, and how much he loved his baths!  What a blessing for us to know a little bit about his past, and now we are even more anxious to travel and meet him and bring him HOME!

It’s been an emotional past month.  Some difficult events have occurred, and it’s made me think about how important family is.  How much support a family provides, especially in trying times, how much unconditional love a family gives, how a family is there no matter what the need.  Our Father in Heaven has not promised us unfettered joy on this earth, nor are we promised a lack of suffering.  There is sadness, pain, and hurt all around us; this we know.  And while we are overjoyed to be adopting again, we know that every adoption brings with it a history of loss, grief, and trauma.  But as we draw the circle of our family a little wider, we know too that there is redemption and hope through the suffering.  We keep our eyes focused on a child who will be one less.  One less orphan in the world, one less human without a family.  And as our family circle grows, so do our hearts.